Doctor Who: Absolution 13/15
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milieva_ficsTitle: Absolution (13/15)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
milieva
Characters: Ten/Rose
Rating: PG-13
Beta:glory_jean
Disclaimer: I am merely borrowing characters owned by the BBC.
Spoilers: through The End of Time
Summary: At the end of his tenth life, the things the Doctor wants most are forgiveness and a chance to make things right, but if fate grants him his one last wish, will he be able to keep from breaking Rose’s heart all over again?
Previous Chapters
Chapter Thirteen: Cohesion
Tony and the Doctor had found one of the most comfortable carpets in the house and had taken it over. They were lying on their bellies with a chessboard set up between them and a few packets of crisps lay within their reach.
“But Mummy and Daddy could adopt you,” Tony offered for the fourth time that weekend, moving his pawn forward.
It would seem Rose had failed to inform the Doctor that her little brother was adamant about having a brother and had gotten it into his head that the Doctor was the perfect candidate. If he wasn’t married to Rose, the Doctor could be adopted by his parents.
It seemed like a perfectly logical option to a five-year-old.
The Doctor popped a small handful of crisps into his mouth before he moved his rook and suggested a move to Tony.
“They could, but I don’t want to be Rose’s brother.”
“But…”
“No,” he laughed. “That wouldn’t work. Just trust me on that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated. Grown-up stuff, you know.”
“Okay,” Tony conceded.
The Doctor opened his mouth to again explain how there was no reason for Jackie and Pete to adopt him, but he was interrupted by a door opening and Rose’s voice calling out to them. Impulse told him to leap to his feet and run toward her, throwing his arms around her, but he chose to stay were he was to maintain some sense of dignity as he watched Tony do just that.
“Rose!” Tony squealed, running across the hall.
“Tony!” she said laughing.
Moments later, she appeared in the doorway with her brother in her arms. The Doctor casually pulled himself to his feet and smiled at her.
“No hug?” she teased, putting Tony back down.
Not needing to be asked twice, the Doctor grinned wider and threw his arms around her.
*.*.*.*
Rose had hardly had time to settle in—she’d sat down to watch the other two play chess—when Tony announced that he was getting hungry.
A few short minutes later found the three of them in the kitchen. Each one was working on preparing a different ingredient of their dinner.
Tony was standing on a chair the Doctor had pulled up for him, peeling garlic, while the Doctor stood beside him skillfully dicing an onion. Each wiped a few tears from his eyes before the Doctor was finished.
Rose laughed at the both of them from the other side of the kitchen as she minced the chicken and then checked the heat of the cooker.
“Careful,” the Doctor warned as he helped Tony back up onto his chair closer to the cooker.
Though she wasn’t so sure she approved of the Doctor letting her brother get so close to the hot pans, she was impressed by how he guided him, keeping him from burning himself as they sautéed the onions and more than once pulling a stray hand away from the edge of the pan.
She’d always liked cooking with the Doctor, but this was the first time she had ever considered his abilities in the kitchen in a familial environment. His interaction with Tony was more than enough to make her mind wander.
It wasn't long before she wondered if the Doctor would be that engaged with his own children. What surprised her more than that thought was the reaslization she was imagining him with their children.
Children with the Doctor.
That was definitely not a thought she’d entertained in a while. Not since before they had had the very long discussion about the dangers of pregnancy aboard the TARDIS.
Trying to shake the idea, she forced herself to focus on simply watching her brother and the Doctor cook.
The Doctor helped Tony shift the ingredients around the pan as they added more seasonings to the dish. He talked the boy through each step and explained why order and timing was so important to the meal turning out right.
He’d been very interested in teaching her like that once upon a time, except lessons occasionally ended in burnt food, more for the cooks’ distraction than from the lack of skill.
There was a reason Rose’s bedroom on the TARDIS had relocated to be closer to the main kitchen.
“And we’re finished,” the Doctor announced, his voice pulling Rose out of her thoughts.
They quickly plated the food and carried it into the dining room, which the Doctor and Tony had prepared before Rose’s arrival.
“I can’t wait to tell Mum that I cooked dinner,” Tony announced proudly as he took his seat.
“I can’t wait to see her face when you tell her who helped you,” Rose laughed.
“Oi!” the Doctor exclaimed, attempting to look hurt. “You’re mother knows I cook.”
Rose raised an eyebrow.
“Doesn’t she?”
She smirked at him, still not saying a word.
“The toaster still doesn’t count,” he retorted, remembering an incident from the Powell Estates.
Tony looked up at him in confusion. “What happened to the toaster? It looked fine to me.”
With a laugh, Rose shook her head.
“Don’t worry about it, Tony. That happened well before you were born.”
“Okay,” he shrugged and went back to shoveling his food into his mouth.
The Doctor knew that would not be the last time he would be asked about the toaster. He cast a frustrated look at Rose, who merely shrugged at him in amusement.
He had been the one to mention it, after all.
Thanks to the conversation being killed by the toaster, they finished their meal in relative silence. Then it was time for Tony to go to bed for the night, much to his great disappointment.
The day never had enough hours in it to suit him.
*.*.*.*
Once Tony was tucked up in bed for the night, more than one story told to him from the Doctor’s repertoire, the Doctor and Rose returned to the kitchen to tidy up the things they had left out during dinner preparations.
“Tony thinks we’re married,” the Doctor mentioned quietly.
He was trying for nonchalance but didn’t exactly succeed.
He carefully kept his eyes focused on the plate he was loading in the dishwasher and trying his best to seem as if Rose’s reaction to that statement wasn’t the least bit important to him.
“I suppose that is a logical assumption,” Rose said.
The Doctor’s head snapped up. “You think so?”
“He does think we live together.” She shrugged and put the containers of leftover food in the fridge.
“You never chose to correct him?”
“Kept him from asking to go to your place.”
He grimaced in annoyance, but quickly realized she did have a good point there. His flat, obviously, was not kid friendly.
“Besides,” Rose said. “We are married. In a manner of speaking.”
With a half laugh he turned a smile toward her. He hadn’t thought about their odd collection of marriages in a while.
“How many was it, again?” She asked, pulling a clean glass out of the cupboard. “Ten… No, that’s not right. Was it eleven times?”
“Seventeen,” the Doctor corrected. “You and I have been married seventeen times.”
“Seventeen?” Rose looked flabbergasted. “I definitely don’t remember seventeen. I was thinking twelve or thirteen at most, considering the amount of alcohol we drank on some planets.”
“A few were when I had big ears,” he smirked, tapping the edge of an ear for emphasis. “But you wouldn’t have realized that was what they were. The marriages, that is, not the ears.”
“No. I remember Kyoto. When I had to marry either you or Jack to keep my ‘honour’ or something like that.” She smiled wistfully. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. I suppose I could have married Jack instead.”
He quickly crossed the distance between them as she spoke.
“No,” he argued, his nose mere inches from hers. “I would have done it again in a heartbeat.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
She reached up a tentative hand and stroked his cheek.
The touch of her skin against his broke the last of his self control and he gave in to desire. Dipping his head down, he claimed her mouth, hoping she would forgive him.
Rather than shoving him away as he feared, Rose pulled him closer and pressed her body firmly against his. She even stayed clinging to him when his body chose to react to her proximity, reading more into the situation than was likely going to happen.
When he finally broke the kiss, they both whispered quiet apologies for the boundary they had both broken.
“I need to shower,” Rose stammered. “Goodnight.”
“Okay.”
The Doctor jammed his hands into his pockets as she walked out of the room. Things seemed to have gone so well. What had he done wrong?
Reluctantly, he followed her up the stairs and went into his own room, loosing his tie and looking at his bed in distain. All day he’d looked forward to being able to hold Rose whilst he slept, but his blunder in the kitchen had likely cost him that.
If she didn’t want him kissing her, why did she kiss him back so ardently?
Unbuttoning his shirt, he dropped it on the growing pile of clothing in the corner. He’d have to do his wash soon. His socks quickly followed after he’d removed his shoes.
He'd find a clean pair to wear to bed later.
Funny thing about being human: His toes would get cold when he slept. It was yet another thing he was trying to get used to. Thankfully, socks had been invented centuries earlier, thus chilly feet could be avoided.
His eyes wavered between his bag and the door. He could hunt down those elusive socks and undress for bed, or he could wait for Rose to finish with her shower so he could talk to her.
Really there wasn’t much of a choice. He’d rather spend every waking moment with Rose, so his decision was easily made for him.
Shoving his hands back into his pockets, he wandered back out into the hallway and toward Rose’s room.
It couldn’t take her much longer to finish her shower.
Her bedroom door was partially open. The Doctor moved to knock on it as he was supposed to, but the sound of the shower from the en suite bathroom made him stop. She wouldn’t hear him anyway.
Walking into the room, he plopped himself down on her bed, ready to patiently wait for her to emerge. Or at least the idea was to wait patiently. Two minutes into his patient waiting, the Doctor grew tired of sitting still. If he stayed put much longer, he was quite sure he would fall asleep.
Reaching into his pocket he pulled three distinct packages out and set them on the duvet. Even if they wouldn't get the use they were designed for, they would at least keep his hands busy.
*.*.*.*
He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed when she emerged from the en suite bathroom. He was clad in only his trousers and t-shirt. He smiled hopefully up at her when she finally reappeared and then looked down at three small flat packages laid out in front of him.
Even though she felt it would have been in both their interests for him to have stayed in his own room, she wasn’t unhappy at him for being there when she came out.
"I still don't understand these," he sighed, looking like he'd resigned himself to not knowing, something he thoroughly detested.
Rose couldn't help but smile at his befuddled expression. "You know, the flavored ones are for--"
The Doctor cut her off.
"I do know that much." He picked the yellow package up and studied it like it contained the secrets of the universe. "Apparently that is supposed to be rather pleasant for me."
Rose was about to ask him about his new found information when he dropped the condom back onto the mattress, looking a little embarrassed, his cheeks flushed and his other hand running through his hair.
"At least that is what your mother's magazines say," he admitted hastily.
That image was more than enough to make her laugh at him. The Doctor sitting on her mother's sofa reading the sex tips in her mother's women's magazines. True he'd read many of the magazines Rose had brought on board the TARDIS in the old days, but he tended to skip those sections, focusing on recipes he might like to try or the articles which sounded most interesting.
"You were reading Mum's magazines?"
"I may have glanced at them," he stammered.
"Right," Rose smirked, obviously not convinced.
Oh, how she missed teasing him about silly things, Rose thought as she moved toward the bed. The Doctor scooted over a little to give her some space, sweeping his three condoms with him.
The mattress sank slightly when she sat down on the edge of it, bravely picking up one of the foil packages and studying it herself.
"What don't you understand?"
"That one, actually." He motioned to green package in her hand. "Why does it need to glow in the dark?"
Flipping the packed over, Rose read the label and laughed. "Well you're the one who bought them, you tell me."
"It has to be in the light first so the phosphors can be excited. So you have to take it out of the wrapper and set it in the light for a few minutes before you put it on. But then it goes inside your partner, so you don't see much of it while it's in use. Why do there need to be glow in the dark condoms? Why does my phallus need to glow? Isn't the rush of blood enough to brighten it?"
There was long,s slow intake of breath before Rose could answer with a semi-straight face, her amusement still evident in the upward turned corners of her lips.
"Perhaps it makes things more interesting in the dark?" she offered, not really trying to be helpful.
It was fun watching him try to understand such things on his own. He looked so adorable when he was confused. His hair was usually rumbled from the constant pulling and he seemed just a little lost in the inner workings of his own head.
Wrinkling his mouth in disgust at what ever strange idea had crossed his mind, he snatched the condom from Rose's hand and placed it back on the bed in front of him.
"We were going to talk," he prompted.
Nodding in agreement, Rose turned toward him.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Everything."
They stared at each other in silence. Both unsure of quite where to begin. The Doctor gathered the condoms into his hand and gave them a shuffle before setting them out again. He repeated the gesture two more times before he finally spoke.
"I married Queen Bess," he said quietly before grimacing like he wasn't quite sure he'd wanted to admit that.
"Did you really?"
Rose wanted to think he was joking but something about the way he held his body, guilt ridden and ashamed, told her he was telling the truth, as unbelievable as it seemed.
He hastily added, "Only married. It was never consummated."
His eyes were pleading her to believe him, begging her to understand it had nothing to do with her or them.
"I didn't… I couldn't…"
His words faltered as Rose fought to stifle a laugh.
"What?" he asked, not seeing the humor in his confession.
"Did she ask, 'Where is it?' when you stripped off?"
His eyebrows lowered in offense.
"No. That's only you," he snapped.
"Oh! I bet she did!" Rose squealed in delight, remembering the first time she'd ever had sex with the Doctor and her reaction to his equipment. "All that waiting and then thinking you can't do the deed. Oh, I'm sure she was furious. No wonder she was the Virgin Queen."
"She most certainly was not a virgin," he glowered.
Rose snorted as she tried to keep back another laugh. For some reason that made her all the more sure of her theory. The following flush of his cheeks only added more confirmation.
He always acted as if sex was nothing special or unique until talk turned to his love life, then he'd get flustered and tongue-tied. He wasn't nearly as experienced as he liked to pretend. True, he had had a few 'adventures,' but going round the block a handful of times wasn't much to brag about at nearly a thousand years of age.
Patting him gently on the knee, she smiled, not willing to speak quite yet for she still had another fit of bubbling giggles threatening to surface.
The Doctor's bottom lip pushed out slightly and his shoulders slumped a bit more in what he would most certainly deny as being a pout had she accused him of sulking.
Thus they sat in uncomfortable silence for the next few minutes. The Doctor picked at the corner of one of the condom wrappers before setting the blue one atop of the green one and then the yellow one on top of that. Once stacked, he picked the yellow one back up and set it father away and then the blue one father still, so he had a line of condoms leading from his crossed legs when Rose finally spoke. [
"And how'd you know she wasn't a virgin?" Rose teased, tongue between her teeth as she gave him a cheeky grin.
"I'm not that oblivious," he declared. "Not to mention how commanding she was about the whole thing. I don't think I could have even if I'd really wanted to."
"Thought you liked to be dominated from time to time."
The flush spread to his ears at her words as he stammered something that could have been 'only with you,' but Rose couldn't be sure as the words faded into the encroaching silence.
Feeling she'd tortured him long enough, and thinking it only fair to confess her own transgressions, Rose swallowed hard and looked up at him, wondering how he was going to react to what she was about to tell him.
"I was engaged."
The Doctor's head snapped up and his eyes met hers with an almost terrifying possessiveness.
"To whom?"
Rose shook her head. "You wouldn't know him. He was transferred the Cardiff before we got the dimension canon working."
Hand sweeping up the condoms and tucking them safely back into his trouser pocket, the Doctor focused on her as if trying to reach out and touch her thoughts, to understand the story behind her brief summary of events.
Every engagement had a story.
"What was his name?"
"James."
He nodded and glanced over at the clock. Rose followed his gaze to find it was creeping ever closer to midnight, but she didn't have to work tomorrow, so that didn't matter.
"I should let you sleep," the Doctor mumbled as he turned to slip off the bed.
Catching his arm before he had gotten too far, Rose swallowed hard, not sure what she could say to make him stay because she wasn't ready for him to go yet.
He stopped his attempted escape and stared at her hand on his arm before slowly raising his eyes to meet hers again.
"No?" he asked.
"No," she agreed, quietly.
He didn't offer to move again, staying near the edge of the bed with his feet not quite touching the floor.
Feeling perhaps a little braver for him staying, Rose inched closer, not sure where she was going with this. She knew he had a few hopes of where things would go, but he was being careful about forming any expectations.
Right now she just wanted him with her, even if it was just to hold her in his arms until they woke in the morning. How she'd missed him while she'd been away. That was almost more of a surprise than what she found herself doing next.
Sliding her palm up his arm and across his shoulder, she combed her fingers through his hair as she pressed her lips against his.
At first he tensed against her sudden shift in behavior, but his body quickly relaxed and his arms wrapped around her, one hand threading fingers through her hair as it tried to pull her closer to deepen the kiss.
When the both of them finally broke for breath, Rose smiled gently at him, whispering for him to stay.
The Doctor gazed at her intently, combing his fingers through her hair, apparently having as much difficulty trying to breathe as she was.
He cautiously bent forward and kissed her again, this time taking the lead and guiding her back toward the center of the bed, where they both knelt, holding one another. His hand on her lower back drifted lower and then disappeared seconds before she heard something rustling in his pocket just beside her hip.
Pulling away, he sat back on his heels and held up the little yellow package, his eyes begging her to believe in him.
Rose nodded, feeling a little unsure but willing to give it a try.
To show she meant it, she pulled her vest top over her head, wondering if it was a good idea or a bad idea to have accepted him so quickly.
Only time would tell.
Holding the edge of the wrapper in his teeth, the Doctor tugged off his t-shirt and moved his hands to the fastening of his trousers. He paused, and looked at her with an uneasy expression when he took the condom out of his mouth to talk.
"Are you sure?"
Of course he had to ask that. The three words that would make her doubt her decision, perhaps even regret it before she carried through. Was she sure?
"No," Rose breathed, shaking her head and pulling back from him.
The Doctor whispered softly, "We don't have to."
Heartbroken didn't even begin to describe the expression on his face. He looked broken, lost, hopeless even.
In a quiet voice he told her, "I would never force you to do anything. If you don't want to, we won't."
"But I do," Rose admitted. "I still do. I just…" She sat heavily back on the bed and leaned back. Her head dropped back against the headboard with a resigned thump. "I don't know."
The Doctor nodded in understanding as he inched closer and pressed his lips against hers. His touch was soft and unthreatening, and Rose found herself remembering their very first time and his telling her, "Just tell me to stop, and I will."
At least that had been a viable option up until he was inside, then nothing could have been done until he was finished. It was just how things worked, and he was more than apologetic about it, giving her ample time beforehand to back out if she wanted.
Only she didn't.
This time she wasn't going to either. It felt so right and so wrong at the same time. They were his lips, even if the temperature was off, too warm, and that was definitely his tongue. No one she had ever been with had ever been able to do some of the things he did with his tongue.
When he pulled back, she apologized.
"I'm just being stupid," she declared with a half laugh.
"It's alright," he consoled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Don't ask me again, or I'll lose my nerve altogether."
"I won't, then," he agreed, before kissing her again.
A/N: You actually have two choices here.
You can simply go on to Chapter 14
Or... you can read the short interlude that leads into Chapter 14.
Author:
milievaCharacters: Ten/Rose
Rating: PG-13
Beta:
glory_jeanDisclaimer: I am merely borrowing characters owned by the BBC.
Spoilers: through The End of Time
Summary: At the end of his tenth life, the things the Doctor wants most are forgiveness and a chance to make things right, but if fate grants him his one last wish, will he be able to keep from breaking Rose’s heart all over again?
Previous Chapters
Chapter Thirteen: Cohesion
Tony and the Doctor had found one of the most comfortable carpets in the house and had taken it over. They were lying on their bellies with a chessboard set up between them and a few packets of crisps lay within their reach.
“But Mummy and Daddy could adopt you,” Tony offered for the fourth time that weekend, moving his pawn forward.
It would seem Rose had failed to inform the Doctor that her little brother was adamant about having a brother and had gotten it into his head that the Doctor was the perfect candidate. If he wasn’t married to Rose, the Doctor could be adopted by his parents.
It seemed like a perfectly logical option to a five-year-old.
The Doctor popped a small handful of crisps into his mouth before he moved his rook and suggested a move to Tony.
“They could, but I don’t want to be Rose’s brother.”
“But…”
“No,” he laughed. “That wouldn’t work. Just trust me on that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated. Grown-up stuff, you know.”
“Okay,” Tony conceded.
The Doctor opened his mouth to again explain how there was no reason for Jackie and Pete to adopt him, but he was interrupted by a door opening and Rose’s voice calling out to them. Impulse told him to leap to his feet and run toward her, throwing his arms around her, but he chose to stay were he was to maintain some sense of dignity as he watched Tony do just that.
“Rose!” Tony squealed, running across the hall.
“Tony!” she said laughing.
Moments later, she appeared in the doorway with her brother in her arms. The Doctor casually pulled himself to his feet and smiled at her.
“No hug?” she teased, putting Tony back down.
Not needing to be asked twice, the Doctor grinned wider and threw his arms around her.
*.*.*.*
Rose had hardly had time to settle in—she’d sat down to watch the other two play chess—when Tony announced that he was getting hungry.
A few short minutes later found the three of them in the kitchen. Each one was working on preparing a different ingredient of their dinner.
Tony was standing on a chair the Doctor had pulled up for him, peeling garlic, while the Doctor stood beside him skillfully dicing an onion. Each wiped a few tears from his eyes before the Doctor was finished.
Rose laughed at the both of them from the other side of the kitchen as she minced the chicken and then checked the heat of the cooker.
“Careful,” the Doctor warned as he helped Tony back up onto his chair closer to the cooker.
Though she wasn’t so sure she approved of the Doctor letting her brother get so close to the hot pans, she was impressed by how he guided him, keeping him from burning himself as they sautéed the onions and more than once pulling a stray hand away from the edge of the pan.
She’d always liked cooking with the Doctor, but this was the first time she had ever considered his abilities in the kitchen in a familial environment. His interaction with Tony was more than enough to make her mind wander.
It wasn't long before she wondered if the Doctor would be that engaged with his own children. What surprised her more than that thought was the reaslization she was imagining him with their children.
Children with the Doctor.
That was definitely not a thought she’d entertained in a while. Not since before they had had the very long discussion about the dangers of pregnancy aboard the TARDIS.
Trying to shake the idea, she forced herself to focus on simply watching her brother and the Doctor cook.
The Doctor helped Tony shift the ingredients around the pan as they added more seasonings to the dish. He talked the boy through each step and explained why order and timing was so important to the meal turning out right.
He’d been very interested in teaching her like that once upon a time, except lessons occasionally ended in burnt food, more for the cooks’ distraction than from the lack of skill.
There was a reason Rose’s bedroom on the TARDIS had relocated to be closer to the main kitchen.
“And we’re finished,” the Doctor announced, his voice pulling Rose out of her thoughts.
They quickly plated the food and carried it into the dining room, which the Doctor and Tony had prepared before Rose’s arrival.
“I can’t wait to tell Mum that I cooked dinner,” Tony announced proudly as he took his seat.
“I can’t wait to see her face when you tell her who helped you,” Rose laughed.
“Oi!” the Doctor exclaimed, attempting to look hurt. “You’re mother knows I cook.”
Rose raised an eyebrow.
“Doesn’t she?”
She smirked at him, still not saying a word.
“The toaster still doesn’t count,” he retorted, remembering an incident from the Powell Estates.
Tony looked up at him in confusion. “What happened to the toaster? It looked fine to me.”
With a laugh, Rose shook her head.
“Don’t worry about it, Tony. That happened well before you were born.”
“Okay,” he shrugged and went back to shoveling his food into his mouth.
The Doctor knew that would not be the last time he would be asked about the toaster. He cast a frustrated look at Rose, who merely shrugged at him in amusement.
He had been the one to mention it, after all.
Thanks to the conversation being killed by the toaster, they finished their meal in relative silence. Then it was time for Tony to go to bed for the night, much to his great disappointment.
The day never had enough hours in it to suit him.
*.*.*.*
Once Tony was tucked up in bed for the night, more than one story told to him from the Doctor’s repertoire, the Doctor and Rose returned to the kitchen to tidy up the things they had left out during dinner preparations.
“Tony thinks we’re married,” the Doctor mentioned quietly.
He was trying for nonchalance but didn’t exactly succeed.
He carefully kept his eyes focused on the plate he was loading in the dishwasher and trying his best to seem as if Rose’s reaction to that statement wasn’t the least bit important to him.
“I suppose that is a logical assumption,” Rose said.
The Doctor’s head snapped up. “You think so?”
“He does think we live together.” She shrugged and put the containers of leftover food in the fridge.
“You never chose to correct him?”
“Kept him from asking to go to your place.”
He grimaced in annoyance, but quickly realized she did have a good point there. His flat, obviously, was not kid friendly.
“Besides,” Rose said. “We are married. In a manner of speaking.”
With a half laugh he turned a smile toward her. He hadn’t thought about their odd collection of marriages in a while.
“How many was it, again?” She asked, pulling a clean glass out of the cupboard. “Ten… No, that’s not right. Was it eleven times?”
“Seventeen,” the Doctor corrected. “You and I have been married seventeen times.”
“Seventeen?” Rose looked flabbergasted. “I definitely don’t remember seventeen. I was thinking twelve or thirteen at most, considering the amount of alcohol we drank on some planets.”
“A few were when I had big ears,” he smirked, tapping the edge of an ear for emphasis. “But you wouldn’t have realized that was what they were. The marriages, that is, not the ears.”
“No. I remember Kyoto. When I had to marry either you or Jack to keep my ‘honour’ or something like that.” She smiled wistfully. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. I suppose I could have married Jack instead.”
He quickly crossed the distance between them as she spoke.
“No,” he argued, his nose mere inches from hers. “I would have done it again in a heartbeat.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
She reached up a tentative hand and stroked his cheek.
The touch of her skin against his broke the last of his self control and he gave in to desire. Dipping his head down, he claimed her mouth, hoping she would forgive him.
Rather than shoving him away as he feared, Rose pulled him closer and pressed her body firmly against his. She even stayed clinging to him when his body chose to react to her proximity, reading more into the situation than was likely going to happen.
When he finally broke the kiss, they both whispered quiet apologies for the boundary they had both broken.
“I need to shower,” Rose stammered. “Goodnight.”
“Okay.”
The Doctor jammed his hands into his pockets as she walked out of the room. Things seemed to have gone so well. What had he done wrong?
Reluctantly, he followed her up the stairs and went into his own room, loosing his tie and looking at his bed in distain. All day he’d looked forward to being able to hold Rose whilst he slept, but his blunder in the kitchen had likely cost him that.
If she didn’t want him kissing her, why did she kiss him back so ardently?
Unbuttoning his shirt, he dropped it on the growing pile of clothing in the corner. He’d have to do his wash soon. His socks quickly followed after he’d removed his shoes.
He'd find a clean pair to wear to bed later.
Funny thing about being human: His toes would get cold when he slept. It was yet another thing he was trying to get used to. Thankfully, socks had been invented centuries earlier, thus chilly feet could be avoided.
His eyes wavered between his bag and the door. He could hunt down those elusive socks and undress for bed, or he could wait for Rose to finish with her shower so he could talk to her.
Really there wasn’t much of a choice. He’d rather spend every waking moment with Rose, so his decision was easily made for him.
Shoving his hands back into his pockets, he wandered back out into the hallway and toward Rose’s room.
It couldn’t take her much longer to finish her shower.
Her bedroom door was partially open. The Doctor moved to knock on it as he was supposed to, but the sound of the shower from the en suite bathroom made him stop. She wouldn’t hear him anyway.
Walking into the room, he plopped himself down on her bed, ready to patiently wait for her to emerge. Or at least the idea was to wait patiently. Two minutes into his patient waiting, the Doctor grew tired of sitting still. If he stayed put much longer, he was quite sure he would fall asleep.
Reaching into his pocket he pulled three distinct packages out and set them on the duvet. Even if they wouldn't get the use they were designed for, they would at least keep his hands busy.
*.*.*.*
He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed when she emerged from the en suite bathroom. He was clad in only his trousers and t-shirt. He smiled hopefully up at her when she finally reappeared and then looked down at three small flat packages laid out in front of him.
Even though she felt it would have been in both their interests for him to have stayed in his own room, she wasn’t unhappy at him for being there when she came out.
"I still don't understand these," he sighed, looking like he'd resigned himself to not knowing, something he thoroughly detested.
Rose couldn't help but smile at his befuddled expression. "You know, the flavored ones are for--"
The Doctor cut her off.
"I do know that much." He picked the yellow package up and studied it like it contained the secrets of the universe. "Apparently that is supposed to be rather pleasant for me."
Rose was about to ask him about his new found information when he dropped the condom back onto the mattress, looking a little embarrassed, his cheeks flushed and his other hand running through his hair.
"At least that is what your mother's magazines say," he admitted hastily.
That image was more than enough to make her laugh at him. The Doctor sitting on her mother's sofa reading the sex tips in her mother's women's magazines. True he'd read many of the magazines Rose had brought on board the TARDIS in the old days, but he tended to skip those sections, focusing on recipes he might like to try or the articles which sounded most interesting.
"You were reading Mum's magazines?"
"I may have glanced at them," he stammered.
"Right," Rose smirked, obviously not convinced.
Oh, how she missed teasing him about silly things, Rose thought as she moved toward the bed. The Doctor scooted over a little to give her some space, sweeping his three condoms with him.
The mattress sank slightly when she sat down on the edge of it, bravely picking up one of the foil packages and studying it herself.
"What don't you understand?"
"That one, actually." He motioned to green package in her hand. "Why does it need to glow in the dark?"
Flipping the packed over, Rose read the label and laughed. "Well you're the one who bought them, you tell me."
"It has to be in the light first so the phosphors can be excited. So you have to take it out of the wrapper and set it in the light for a few minutes before you put it on. But then it goes inside your partner, so you don't see much of it while it's in use. Why do there need to be glow in the dark condoms? Why does my phallus need to glow? Isn't the rush of blood enough to brighten it?"
There was long,s slow intake of breath before Rose could answer with a semi-straight face, her amusement still evident in the upward turned corners of her lips.
"Perhaps it makes things more interesting in the dark?" she offered, not really trying to be helpful.
It was fun watching him try to understand such things on his own. He looked so adorable when he was confused. His hair was usually rumbled from the constant pulling and he seemed just a little lost in the inner workings of his own head.
Wrinkling his mouth in disgust at what ever strange idea had crossed his mind, he snatched the condom from Rose's hand and placed it back on the bed in front of him.
"We were going to talk," he prompted.
Nodding in agreement, Rose turned toward him.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Everything."
They stared at each other in silence. Both unsure of quite where to begin. The Doctor gathered the condoms into his hand and gave them a shuffle before setting them out again. He repeated the gesture two more times before he finally spoke.
"I married Queen Bess," he said quietly before grimacing like he wasn't quite sure he'd wanted to admit that.
"Did you really?"
Rose wanted to think he was joking but something about the way he held his body, guilt ridden and ashamed, told her he was telling the truth, as unbelievable as it seemed.
He hastily added, "Only married. It was never consummated."
His eyes were pleading her to believe him, begging her to understand it had nothing to do with her or them.
"I didn't… I couldn't…"
His words faltered as Rose fought to stifle a laugh.
"What?" he asked, not seeing the humor in his confession.
"Did she ask, 'Where is it?' when you stripped off?"
His eyebrows lowered in offense.
"No. That's only you," he snapped.
"Oh! I bet she did!" Rose squealed in delight, remembering the first time she'd ever had sex with the Doctor and her reaction to his equipment. "All that waiting and then thinking you can't do the deed. Oh, I'm sure she was furious. No wonder she was the Virgin Queen."
"She most certainly was not a virgin," he glowered.
Rose snorted as she tried to keep back another laugh. For some reason that made her all the more sure of her theory. The following flush of his cheeks only added more confirmation.
He always acted as if sex was nothing special or unique until talk turned to his love life, then he'd get flustered and tongue-tied. He wasn't nearly as experienced as he liked to pretend. True, he had had a few 'adventures,' but going round the block a handful of times wasn't much to brag about at nearly a thousand years of age.
Patting him gently on the knee, she smiled, not willing to speak quite yet for she still had another fit of bubbling giggles threatening to surface.
The Doctor's bottom lip pushed out slightly and his shoulders slumped a bit more in what he would most certainly deny as being a pout had she accused him of sulking.
Thus they sat in uncomfortable silence for the next few minutes. The Doctor picked at the corner of one of the condom wrappers before setting the blue one atop of the green one and then the yellow one on top of that. Once stacked, he picked the yellow one back up and set it father away and then the blue one father still, so he had a line of condoms leading from his crossed legs when Rose finally spoke. [
"And how'd you know she wasn't a virgin?" Rose teased, tongue between her teeth as she gave him a cheeky grin.
"I'm not that oblivious," he declared. "Not to mention how commanding she was about the whole thing. I don't think I could have even if I'd really wanted to."
"Thought you liked to be dominated from time to time."
The flush spread to his ears at her words as he stammered something that could have been 'only with you,' but Rose couldn't be sure as the words faded into the encroaching silence.
Feeling she'd tortured him long enough, and thinking it only fair to confess her own transgressions, Rose swallowed hard and looked up at him, wondering how he was going to react to what she was about to tell him.
"I was engaged."
The Doctor's head snapped up and his eyes met hers with an almost terrifying possessiveness.
"To whom?"
Rose shook her head. "You wouldn't know him. He was transferred the Cardiff before we got the dimension canon working."
Hand sweeping up the condoms and tucking them safely back into his trouser pocket, the Doctor focused on her as if trying to reach out and touch her thoughts, to understand the story behind her brief summary of events.
Every engagement had a story.
"What was his name?"
"James."
He nodded and glanced over at the clock. Rose followed his gaze to find it was creeping ever closer to midnight, but she didn't have to work tomorrow, so that didn't matter.
"I should let you sleep," the Doctor mumbled as he turned to slip off the bed.
Catching his arm before he had gotten too far, Rose swallowed hard, not sure what she could say to make him stay because she wasn't ready for him to go yet.
He stopped his attempted escape and stared at her hand on his arm before slowly raising his eyes to meet hers again.
"No?" he asked.
"No," she agreed, quietly.
He didn't offer to move again, staying near the edge of the bed with his feet not quite touching the floor.
Feeling perhaps a little braver for him staying, Rose inched closer, not sure where she was going with this. She knew he had a few hopes of where things would go, but he was being careful about forming any expectations.
Right now she just wanted him with her, even if it was just to hold her in his arms until they woke in the morning. How she'd missed him while she'd been away. That was almost more of a surprise than what she found herself doing next.
Sliding her palm up his arm and across his shoulder, she combed her fingers through his hair as she pressed her lips against his.
At first he tensed against her sudden shift in behavior, but his body quickly relaxed and his arms wrapped around her, one hand threading fingers through her hair as it tried to pull her closer to deepen the kiss.
When the both of them finally broke for breath, Rose smiled gently at him, whispering for him to stay.
The Doctor gazed at her intently, combing his fingers through her hair, apparently having as much difficulty trying to breathe as she was.
He cautiously bent forward and kissed her again, this time taking the lead and guiding her back toward the center of the bed, where they both knelt, holding one another. His hand on her lower back drifted lower and then disappeared seconds before she heard something rustling in his pocket just beside her hip.
Pulling away, he sat back on his heels and held up the little yellow package, his eyes begging her to believe in him.
Rose nodded, feeling a little unsure but willing to give it a try.
To show she meant it, she pulled her vest top over her head, wondering if it was a good idea or a bad idea to have accepted him so quickly.
Only time would tell.
Holding the edge of the wrapper in his teeth, the Doctor tugged off his t-shirt and moved his hands to the fastening of his trousers. He paused, and looked at her with an uneasy expression when he took the condom out of his mouth to talk.
"Are you sure?"
Of course he had to ask that. The three words that would make her doubt her decision, perhaps even regret it before she carried through. Was she sure?
"No," Rose breathed, shaking her head and pulling back from him.
The Doctor whispered softly, "We don't have to."
Heartbroken didn't even begin to describe the expression on his face. He looked broken, lost, hopeless even.
In a quiet voice he told her, "I would never force you to do anything. If you don't want to, we won't."
"But I do," Rose admitted. "I still do. I just…" She sat heavily back on the bed and leaned back. Her head dropped back against the headboard with a resigned thump. "I don't know."
The Doctor nodded in understanding as he inched closer and pressed his lips against hers. His touch was soft and unthreatening, and Rose found herself remembering their very first time and his telling her, "Just tell me to stop, and I will."
At least that had been a viable option up until he was inside, then nothing could have been done until he was finished. It was just how things worked, and he was more than apologetic about it, giving her ample time beforehand to back out if she wanted.
Only she didn't.
This time she wasn't going to either. It felt so right and so wrong at the same time. They were his lips, even if the temperature was off, too warm, and that was definitely his tongue. No one she had ever been with had ever been able to do some of the things he did with his tongue.
When he pulled back, she apologized.
"I'm just being stupid," she declared with a half laugh.
"It's alright," he consoled, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Don't ask me again, or I'll lose my nerve altogether."
"I won't, then," he agreed, before kissing her again.
A/N: You actually have two choices here.
You can simply go on to Chapter 14
Or... you can read the short interlude that leads into Chapter 14.
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no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 05:45 am (UTC)TWO WHOLE CHAPTERS!!! OMG! Yay! :D
I really loved both chapters! The progression is slow but steady and oh so realistic considering their history up to this point. The fear of falling is a difficult hurdle to overcome, but once overcome the hiccups prove worthy.
I am loving your take on little Tony thinking they are married. LOL Once he understands they're not, adoption does seem logical! The Doctor is acknowledged as family by the child-- priceless and very telling.
I giggled at the unknowingly married 17 times bit. Classic stuff there. :D Blame the alien cultures ploy. haha
I look forward to the next installment! It looks like the good stuff is right around the corner! Yay!
no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:39 pm (UTC)The Doctor is definitely acknowledged as family by Tony. I had fun trying to think of a reason he would see as logical proof of his assumption. Children can come up with reasons behind the most random conclusions. May of which we adults would never understand anymore.
I'm glad to know someone found that as amusing as I had. I know the few people I chat to on IM have known that fact long before I wrote it here, as I have an idea of writing out all of the marriages.
You needn't wait any longer. The next installment is now posted. You can read it whenever you are able. Hopefully I will have the final chapter up before I leave for DC on Sunday.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 12:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:43 pm (UTC)I am glad you enjoyed that conversation. It is one of the things I can imagine him having to get used to when it comes to being human. Nothing is quite what it was when he was a Time Lord.
I am glad you are enjoying it, and I am happy to tell you I have the next chapter completed and posted.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-05 05:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-06 10:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-07 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:47 pm (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it.
And as I am responding--exceedingly late--you are likely reading the next chapter.
no subject
Date: 2010-06-11 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-06-28 05:51 pm (UTC)I am glad you enjoyed the slow hiccuped path he takes to proving himself to Rose. I am sorry to have made you and everyone else wait so long for the next chapter, but considering my past history, a few weeks is much better than nearly a year between chapters.
I have since posted the next chapter, and that leaves only one more and a possible epilogue after.
Thank you for your comment. I am always pleased to hear that my stories are enjoyed.